Authorized Personnell Only
by bitterending
Summary: [incest] Hermione finds the real back room in the twins' store. [FredxHermionexGeorge]


Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me.  
A/N 1: I fail at het. I'm sorry. It's a present for someone. She forced me! XD;  
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Hermione never used to be this curious. Constantly being around Harry and Ron had proved to be a bad influence. If she were still in her first year, she would not be contemplating unlocking this door to see what Fred and George were hiding in the back of their shop. But the door said _Authorized Personnel Only,_ and when she asked Verity she told her awkwardly that only the twins ever went in there, and then busied herself with a customer before Hermione could ask any other questions.

What was so compelling about this door, anyway? Hermione could guess that if she'd seen such a door in any other building it wouldn't cause her the slightest hint of interest, but these were the Weasley twins. God only knew what kind of secrets _they_ were hiding.

Her musings were interrupted by a loud crash behind her. "OW! George, watch where the hell you're—" Fred cut himself off abruptly, staring at Hermione as if she'd caught him in the shower. "Erm…hello, 'Mione. What are—where are Harry and Ron?" Hermione shrugged, looking from the door to Fred, and eventually George, who appeared from the hallway shortly after his brother.

"What's in here?" She asked, innocently, jerking her thumb back at the door in a way that strangely didn't seem to fit the twins' image of Hermione.

"Er…"

It was obvious that they didn't want to tell her, but Hermione couldn't force herself to let it go. She stood determinedly in front of the door, her thumb still pointing at it, her face somewhere between curious and confused. Fred suddenly seemed to regain his composure first, and a grin spread over his face. "Honestly, woman, let us have our secrets. The door says—"

"Are Verity and Theebs allowed back there?" She interrupted, frustrated, knowing full well what the door said and not caring to hear it again. George laughed out loud, as if there was some inside joke she was missing. Fred elbowed him in the ribs and muttered something that made George put a hand over his mouth.

"No." Fred answered shortly. "Just us." Hermione sighed loudly, glancing forlornly at the door before looking back to the twins. "Curiosity killed the cat, you know." Fred teased, noticing the look on Hermione's face. She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Fred cut her off. "Still willing to risk it, are you? Good heavens, our little brother and Harry _did_ have quite an effect on you."

"So _persistent_. How are we gonna keep her out of there, Freddie?"

"You still want to?"

George's eyes widened. "_Fredrick Gideon Weasley!_ Are you implying what I think you're implying?"

"Are you implying that you haven't thought of it yourself?"

Hermione was starting to get a little nervous. Her curiosity had peaked, and she suddenly did _not_ want to see what was inside that room. "Erm…boys," she said softly, breaking into their discussion. They both stopped talking and looked at her with identical grins. "It's not _that_ important. I mean, if it means so much to you, I won't—erm…"

"Oh, nonsense, 'Mione." Fred said gently.

"You asked. You obviously are _dying_ to know."

"No—I—that's okay. You're allowed to keep secrets, after all—"

She tried to get past them to find Harry or Ron, but they both stopped her, their arms flying out in perfect harmony to catch her like a net. "Maybe we don't want to keep secrets from _everyone._" Fred mused, smirking.

"Maybe we're willing to share." George added, ignoring his brother's laugh. "C'mon, then. You asked, so let's give you a tour." Hermione swallowed, looking hopelessly back at the hallway to see if anyone was coming by to interrupt the situation, but there was no one in sight. She sighed and allowed the twins to drag her into the room.

Whatever Hermione had been expecting, it wasn't what she found when they opened the door. In the center of the room there was a very large bed, covered with thick warm blankets and several pillows. There was a shelf over the headboard that was laden with what looked to be hundreds of tiny little bottles, but they were too far away for Hermione to read any of the labels.

After a moment of silence, Fred spoke up. "Smartest witch to graduate Hogwarts in our lifetime and she still doesn't seem to have figured it out." He whispered to his brother, who laughed heartily. Hermione's cheeks turned pink and she wheeled around to face them.

"Figured wha—"

Hermione stopped abruptly as two and two came together in her mind. The only two people allowed in this room were Fred and George. And there was nothing but a bed in here. Suddenly, she didn't need to read the labels of those bottles to know what they were. "Oh my." Hermione's cheeks flushed bright red, her eyes widening.

Fred smirked. "Well, I'd say you're taking it quite a bit better than Percy did." That snapped Hermione out of her haze.

"Per—Percy?" Hermione's face was beet red now, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Percy was—he _knows_?"

George rolled his eyes. "Surprises you, that? Honestly, the man wouldn't take no for an answer. '_I have a right to know what you two are doing back there!' _Went a bit hysterical when he figured it out, but I still have an inkling that maybe he knew all along."

Hermione felt more blood rush to her face as she realized something else. "Why are you showing me this—?"

"Because you asked." Fred answered, "Nothing more than that."

"Unless you want it to be." George finished.

Hermione bristled, wishing she wasn't blushing so hard. "Honestly—" she started, "I never knew the two of you to be so—so—" she groped blindly for a word to describe their behavior, finally deciding on, "—_perverted._" They grinned at her.

"Now, Hermione…"

"We know that's not true."

Hermione blinked, slightly taken aback. Fred sighed and walked over to the bed, sitting heavily on the edge of it. George rushed to his side and sat beside him, and they both looked expectantly at Hermione. "Well, 'Mione," Fred started, forcing Hermione to notice suddenly that George never called her that. An interesting difference. "We let you see."

"What happens next is up to you."

Hermione looked from Fred to George, raising an eyebrow. "What—what is _that_ supposed to mean?" she asked nervously, knowing exactly what it meant, but stalling for time. She wasn't very good at acting naive, and Fred and George both saw through her. Why hadn't she just said no?

"What we mean is—"

"You could leave now, and—"

"—as long as you keep the secret—"

"—we'll never speak of this again."

"Or…" George glanced over at Fred before looking back at Hermione.

"You could...well, _join in_."

Hermione's shocked silence gave the wrong impression. "What? Wrong Weasleys?" Fred said teasingly. Hermione blinked confusedly.

"So which is it, then?" George asked before she could respond.

"Ron or Percy?"

Hermione flushed. "_Percy?_" she shouted, not realizing until the word left her mouth that she'd given away the answer. The twins laughed loudly.

"Well, the two of you always did seem quite…erm…_compatible_."

"More alike than George and I, even."

"But you two hate Percy." Hermione said pitifully, frowning. She wouldn't have minded being compared to Percy by their mother, but coming from the twins it sounded like an insult of the cruelest kind.

"Au contraire." George said with a smirk, "Can't hate anyone who's that good at a—"

Hermione cut him off, waving her hand rapidly in front of his face. "_Oh God. _Stop. _Stop_. I can't believe I'm having this conversation. I can't believe you two are—and—and _Percy._" She clutched at her chest, feeling slightly faint with these new revelations. "How long has this—I don't even want to—no, no I do. How long have you been—been—"

"_Involved?_" Fred drawled jokingly.

"Six years." George answered plainly, elbowing Fred in the ribs. "Don't tease her, Freddie, that's mean." He looked back at Hermione, who was gaping openly at him. "Or did you mean with Percy, too? Because that's only been going on about a month or so…do you want to sit down?" he added, trying to hide the laugh in his voice. George waved his wand and the desk chair by the bed swiveled over and tapped her gently at the insides of her knees, enticing her to sit. She didn't.

"Who else knows?" She asked distractedly, glancing nervously at Fred, who looked up in thought.

"Well," he started with a sigh as if it was going to be a long list, "You, Perce, Verity, Theebs, Ron—"

"_Ron knows?_" Hermione sounded nearly hysterical now. "How long has _Ron_ known?"

"Since he walked in on us in our last year at home." George answered, trying not to laugh, "It's our own fault for not putting up a silencing charm that night, I suppose—he thought I was dying of Spattergroit."

"We never did anything with _him_, if that's why you're…hyperventilating." Fred added, looking fairly alarmed. Hermione calmed down slightly, easing into the chair.

"Why didn't he tell Harry or—"

"Well, Harry knows, but you wouldn't let me get to—"

"_HARRY, TOO?_"

"Yeah, he was with Ron when—"

"Oh God. Why didn't they _tell_ me?"

Fred was beginning to get frustrated "Well, Jesus, 'Mione, it's not something you go spreading around." Hermione felt her face flush again and fell silent to let him finish. "_Anyway,_ there's Ron, Harry…oh, Oliver, too." The corner of his mouth quirked as he remembered their old Quiddich captain, and Hermione assumed he'd been one of the ones to join them.

"Lee found out eventually…oh, right, that bratty little Malfoy git stumbled on us, once. Threatened to tell the whole school about it, but we shut him up." Hermione didn't ask how, though she could tell by the look that suddenly passed over Fred's face that he did not receive the same treatment Oliver Wood had been given.

"So, truthfully, it's not _really_ a secret," George added once he realized Fred had finished, "but we don't want to go around advertising it—or telling _mum_ or anyone like that." George bit his lip as if he suddenly felt guilty, and an awkward silence seemed to settle for a moment, making Hermione restless. She looked silently down at her hands nesting in her lap.

"Are you really that disgusted?" Fred asked earnestly, raising his eyebrows.

"No." Hermione answered a little quicker than she'd meant to, "Just…erm…shocked." She stood rather abruptly, not knowing what else to do. "Well then. I suppose—" Fred cut her off, getting suddenly to his feet and pulling her into a kiss. Hermione pulled back before he could even expect a reaction. "Now, that doesn't mean—" but Fred smirked and pulled her back into him, placing his hand on the back of her head so that she couldn't break away again.

She thrashed against him with quickly depleting vigor until she finally gave in, her hands slightly clenching in his robes as she stood on the balls of her feet to be at a more even level. When Fred finally broke the kiss for air, Hermione swallowed audibly, looking flustered. "W—wow, Fred. I had no idea you were so—erm…_good_ at—at that." Hermione flushed deeply. She wasn't used to being at a loss for words and couldn't help but feel suddenly stupid for her lack of descriptive vocabulary.

Fred grinned; as if he'd known all along just how _good_ he was at that. "How do you think I got Percy to shut up?"

"Oh, Fred, _honestly_." Hermione scolded, dropping back to her heels and starting to walk away, but Fred grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"You said you weren't disgusted."

"Not being disgusted is _hardly_ segue to kiss me!"

"Ah, but you kissed _back_."

Fred grinned smugly at her. Hermione was looking slightly frantic now. She wasn't used to these kinds of stresses. These were the kinds of stresses that maybe Lavender Brown and Cho Chang dealt with, but not her. Never her. "Well, yes, but—Fred, this is _ridiculous._" She said exasperatedly, tugging her wrist out of his grip.

"I find it ironic that the first time you use that phrase on us is the first time we're being serious." George piped up, and Hermione jumped, nearly forgetting he was there.

"I—this is—you _can't_ be seri—"

"But we are." Murmured Fred, and Hermione felt a shiver run down her spine at the sincerity in his voice. "C'mon, 'Mione. You can't tell us you've never been curious." Hermione gasped slightly as she felt Fred's hands skate gently under her shirt, his fingers lightly brushing her stomach. "Not even a little?" Another set of hands were suddenly at the hem of her skirt, and Hermione yelped. She hadn't even heard George get off the bed.

As George's hands rolled slowly up her thigh, Hermione absently noticed how they were slightly softer than Fred's—giving Hermione the impression that Fred handled more explosive spells than his brother. Fred's mouth was leaving a trail down her neck, pausing at her collarbone to nip it gently. "Hermione…" he sounded slightly breathless and his voice was muffled against her skin, "You'll like it, we promise."

Hermione wanted to respond, and became aware of the fact that she had been holding her breath. "I—" she choked, jumping when she felt George's lips make a path from her nape to her shoulder. "I—erm…" George's hand slid around to stroke the inside of her thigh, his thumb grazing the hem of her underwear. Hermione's eyes fluttered and she sucked in a deep breath, instinctively sliding into George's hand. "I…"

Her hips jerked slightly into George's fingers, her hands gripping tightly onto Fred's robes. Electricity shot through her abdomen, and she moaned, pushing harder against George's fingers as she dropped her forehead onto Fred's shoulder. Fred dipped his head and captured Hermione's lips in his; dragging his hands tenderly up her shirt against the bare skin of her back to expertly unhook her bra. Hermione made a soft noise in the back of her throat as Fred's hand traveled to the front of her chest, slipping under her bra.

"Shh, 'Mione." Fred whispered as he started biting gently down her jaw, "I promise you'll…" he trailed off, unable to think clearly enough to finish his sentence as he pushed against Hermione, the evident bulge in his pants grinding slightly against both her and George's hand, causing the three of them to groan.

She'd never known either of the twins to be this gentle or amorous, and it was almost unnerving. "Hermione…" Fred murmured headily, "Let us—we'll be careful…" Hermione didn't realize she was nodding until she felt George's fingers tuck into the waistband of her panties, pulling them off gently, caressing her hip as he pushed them away. Hermione whined loudly, her hips bucking in an attempt at friction.

"Please…" Hermione whispered softly, "Don't…don't stop…" Fred seemed to be moving on autopilot, one hand unbuckling his pants while the other one nested in her hair, tasting her skin eagerly as George placed a hand over Fred's, trailing his tongue over the opposite side of Hermione's neck. Hermione moaned and reached a hand back to clench in George's hair.

"Both of us?" Fred asked, sounding almost nervous in her ear.

Without thinking, Hermione nodded, her grip tightening briefly in George's hair. "Yes. Yes, _please_." Fred growled, pulling Hermione to him as he fell back onto the bed. Hermione moaned, grinding into Fred's hips impatiently until she felt George's hands on her waist, lifting her and gently easing her onto his brother. She hissed in surprised pain and startled when she felt George lace his fingers with hers.

"We'll be gentle, Hermione." He whispered, "Don't worry." His unveiled concern made Hermione blush again. She had never seen this side of them before. She'd never seen them in any other light besides that of jokers, and therefore assumed them to be no deeper than the few pranks they pulled. Ashamed for ever thinking this way, she nodded guiltily, looking over her shoulder at George, who smiled before leaning forward to kiss her.

George's kiss was softer and a little more tentative than Fred's had been. His hand tightened over hers, and he allowed her the control. It was obvious who played which roles when they were alone together; they were almost perfect opposites.

Hermione jumped when she felt Fred shift underneath her. She broke away to see Fred sitting up on one elbow, his hand wrapped around George's free wrist, his lips closed around three of his fingers. George mewled slightly as he pulled away. "Ready?" he sounded strangely worried, and he squeezed her hand again. Hermione nodded, feeling a thrill in her stomach as George pressed a finger into her, preparing her gently.

Hermione pushed back onto his finger, groaning as she felt Fred beginning to thrust gently forward. He was sitting up, nipping heatedly at her neck. George was pressed against her back, slipping in a second finger as he tangled the fingers of his other hand in Fred's hair. He jumped when he felt Hermione's hand snatch at his wrist. "That's…that's good, George." She whispered breathlessly through her teeth, "That's…enough."

George eagerly pulled his hand out and positioned himself against her. "Now?" Hermione nodded, moving her hips into George's. Spontaneously, George grabbed a handful of Hermione's hair and pulled her into a kiss as he pushed himself into her. She moaned heedlessly into his mouth and jerked her hips causing a friction that made the three of them shiver. Fred purred possessively and fell back, waiting for Hermione to break the kiss before pulling her to him, causing George to follow.

For a moment he looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time, and then he smiled impishly. "Regret it?" he asked huskily. Without asking what he meant, Hermione shook her head, pressing her hands against his chest and noticing with a hint of pride that, despite his nonchalance, his heart was beating wildly against his ribs. She felt George's hands at her hips as he began to thrust shallowly into her, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy.

It was amazing. The twins seemed so synchronized in their every movement, their rhythm unbearably perfect. Fred seemed entranced by her, the smile on his face startlingly close to innocent—something Hermione had never seen on either of the twins faces before. He took hold of her elbows, pulling her down until she was flush against his chest, her arms draped lazily around his neck. He took her mouth in his, licking gently at her lips until she allowed him entrance.

As the kiss between them developed, Hermione felt the gentle graze of teeth against her neck, sucking tenderly at her pulse point until Hermione gasped into the kiss. Her hips jerked roughly, causing primal desire to flash briefly through the both of them, and their speed increased. Hermione moaned, breaking away from Fred to breathe heavily against his chest.

"_Hermione..._" Fred groaned darkly, his hands twitching in an effort not to claw her back. He was close, that much was obvious. Suddenly, George's voice was hushed and quiet in her ear.

"Pull his hair." He ordered, sounding close as well, "Drives him mad." Hermione felt a chill run down her spine at the idea of George alone with Fred, practicing this theory for himself. Gasping, she reached up and took a handful of Fred's hair, yanking it hard.

"FUCK!" Fred's eyes rolled back in his head and his hands flew off of Hermione's back to dig roughly into his brother's shoulders, trailing angry red lines down George's arms as his grip slid to his wrists. George hissed in pain, coming hard into Hermione without warning. Startled, Hermione cried out, unintentionally ripping again at Fred's hair, causing him to moan loudly again, his hips moving erratically. Curious, Hermione leaned forward and bit down on Fred's neck, feeling her entire body go suddenly weak as Fred released with a sharp outcry of, "_Bloody hell!_"

For a moment, the three of them didn't move, reveling in the aftershock. At one point, George's hand slid gently down Hermione's leg, and she glanced to her side to see him curl his fingers around his brother's palm, squeezing gently. The act made her feel slightly in the way, but somehow George seemed to sense this. He dropped his forehead against Hermione's back, placing a chaste kiss between her shoulder blades.

After a moment, Hermione realized aloud, "Don't you two have customers?" Fred and George both groaned in unison, and George pulled away from Hermione to lie beside his brother, pulling Hermione after him so that she rested in between them.

"It's almost closing time, anyway." He grumbled, curling against Hermione as Fred buried his face in her hair.

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A/N 2: Once again, I apologize for my shitty attempt at half-het. I'm only posting it here, not to subject you loyal readers (har har) to bad writing, but because it's far too long to post up on livejournal. If you like it, WOW, HOLY CRAP, THAT'S SO SWEET, I LOVE YOU. If you don't, it's because it's het, which for some reason I suck at writing, despite the fact that I'm usually only in such relationships, and I promise this is the last time. :x


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